Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Love And Heart Break

Someone once asked me what is love? But then I told them, what would I know about love? Only that I cannot have it. All my life there was one girl that I ever actually felt love for. One girl that I actually respect and I would never hurt her. Even when I had girlfriends I never stopped thinking about her. And when I did have girlfriends it was only to get her attention. No matter what I do, no matter how I try to impress her or what tactic I try to make her see that I actually do care about her. That I actually have real feelings for her and I actually love her, she's the only girl that's ever made me feel great about myself. And she would end up with guys and it would always result in her getting hurt. Not only does she get hurt but I get hurt cause I feel for her and I want her to know that I am not like those guys and if she opened her eyes and sees that I really have feelings for her and love her than I would make her feel loved every day. But no matter what I do or how much I change, it's like if I'm invisible for her. Every time everything back fires on me. It just bounces right back on me like a mirror. I could never get her out of my mind. Even since the first day that we met. And I know I will never be happy until she's mine. Everyday I feel that my heart breaks knowing that she doesn't see how much she means to me. I feel empty, incomplete, and alone. There's times when I think I have to get hit by a car or something in order for her to see how much feelings I have for her. But no matter how hard I try and no matter how hard I try to change my appearance, and no matter how hard I try hurting myself in order to get rid of the depression, I know that she'll never realize it and her eyes will never be opened. Only time will tell but no matter what, I'll always be hurt inside knowing that she won't be mine.

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